


Bro What Did You Do?

by Cucklord



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Come Inflation, Fluff and Smut, Gay, Gay Sex, M/M, Oral Sex, Premature Ejaculation, Stuffing, Trans Dave Strider, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:06:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23612755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cucklord/pseuds/Cucklord
Summary: Another request from a fandom I don't fully interact with. Karkat gets off too early and Dave needs him to finish him off. This makes Karkat minorly self-conscious, but through the power of memes and Kleenex they work it out. Minor mention of cum inflation but tbh it's way less prominent than I expected.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Kudos: 77





	Bro What Did You Do?

Karkat pulled out of Dave and fell backwards onto the covers. Wiping his brow with the borrowed t-shirt he was wearing, he let out a long and satisfied sigh, “Aw man. Okay: I get it! Doing you barkbeast style is definitely better--even if I miss the intimacy of getting my tongue all up in your squawk gaper. Also, fuck, is that how hard you gotta work every time you ride me on top or what? I hate this. I feel like my fucking bellowsacs are on fire. I need to work out more. Fuck. Help.” He fell over onto one side, panting.

“Oh yeah, everytime. It’s a hell of a lot of work to get you off when I’m topping.” Dave groaned, reaching down to his distended gut. He was shirtless, as he preferred to be, with his plaid pyjama pants around his ankles. Karkat had unloaded a bucket’s worth of candy red genetic slurry into him. Usually this wasn’t much of a problem for the guy. On many occasions he’d been heard to remark, much to Karkat’s dismay, “Ain’t nothing like flooding my boy chasm with red vine purée to make me feel valid.”

This time, there was an issue. This time was different. This time Dave did not feel so valid.

“Yeah, it’s a lot of work,” he continued as he turned over. He laid a hand on his distended gut, testing his fullness. It was extremely taut and heavy, bouncing slightly as he laid back. Fixing Karkat with a sardonic gaze as he idly displayed his jauntily manscaped coochie, “which is kinda funny, seeing as you took all of 2 minutes to go off in me today.”

“Yeah, I was having a good time, so what?” Karkat remained on his side, blissfully unaware and revelling in the afterglow that he’d had to actually expend cardiovascular effort for.

“Yeah, well funny thing, turns out little Dave needs a bit more attention than that, bro.”

“Who the fuck is little Da-- oh. Oh fuck, did I--”

“Yep.”

“So you didn’t get t--”

“Nope!”

“But I’m already finished!” Karkat sat up, trying to plead with dave, “The tank is tapped out! My shame globes are drier than my beloved brand of humour!”

“That and you’re panting like the kind of pony that needs to be taken behind the barn.”

“It’s HARD OKAY! You are HARD to please!”

“That’s true,” Dave smirked, “I’ve got high standards cause I’m a choice morsel of ass. That’s why you gotta get in there and earn your keep.”

“Fine, time to let my point stumps do the walking, then,” Karkat reached out for Dave’s clit.

“Nah, bro,” Dave was quick to grab Karkat’s wrist, placing that hand on his cheek and “That goes right here. Caress. Meanwhile, gonna need you to use that mouth of yours for something a little more urgent than quips.”

“You want me to give you head,” Karkat seemed resistant.

“Still surprised you don’t have a twee troll word for that but, yeah. I need you to eat me out, bro.”

“Well the normal way to say it is filial facedive, but I’m trying to make my way of speaking more human accessible because, I dunno, I care about you or something.”

“Aw,” Dave grinned, enjoying Karkat’s genre-appropriate attempt to weakly disguise emotional vulnerability, “That’s sweet, dawg.”

“Sweet enough for you to let me skip with the oral and go get a snack?” Karkat looked hopeful.

“Nope”

“Oh come on,” Karkat grumbled.

“Wait, bro, do you seriously not like my tasty puss?” Dave looked genuinely shocked, “What’s wrong with it?”

“There’s nothing wrong with your nook. I just feel weird putting my face in it.”

“You were fine slurping on my boy bits last week.”

“Last week was different!” Karkat flopped over onto one side again.

“Why? What about a quickie in Jade’s closet made putting your mouth on my absolutely banging mons pubis so much more palatable, huh?”

“It’s just weird to put my face down there right after I had my, yknow...bits all up in there! Okay?”

“ ‘Bits?’ “ Dave was so stunned he had to take off his glasses and rub his eyes “Did you just--...bits. Oh my god. Which human told you that word? Was it Rose, just trying to mess with me? Nah, no, it must have been John. You’re done hanging out with John. That’s it. For the sake of my ever being able to get aroused again I need you to never call your alien dick your ‘bits’ ever again. Please. I care too much about having awesome sex with you to let this happen again”

Karkat let Dave do his schpiel. Normally he’d be laughing or frowning and pretending not to find it funny but, somehow, in this moment it felt like he wasn’t in on the joke. He just felt stupid. Dave, his smile falling, couldn’t help but take notice of the change in vibe. Sitting up, he tugged Karkat close and kissed his ear.

“Okay, you know I’m joking about not hanging out with john, right?” Dave spoke more softly this time, trying to soothe Karkat’s obvious unease.

“Yeah, I got that.” Karkat rolled his eyes, “It’s just that I feel stupid. I get it, it’s a weird double standard that I can put my bulge in there just fine and expect you to do oral but like--okay. Okay, I am telling you this but you cannot tell anyone, okay?”

Dave grinned, “Cmon, bro, you know I wouldn’t tell anyone something serious.”

“You told Terezi that I like getting my horns massaged!!!”

“Well yeah but that wasn’t serious and also that was like, ages ago.”

“That was two weeks ago!”

“Time is an illusion. Also, I’m sorry. Also, the timeline where that happened is dead.”

“Uhuh.” Karkat seemed unconvinced.

“Also I’m really, really sorry?” Dave wheedled.

“Yeah, okay fine.” Karkat sighed, “I guess I just feel like...my genetic slurry tastes...bad.”

“But it...doesn’t?” Dave looked confused, “Like, have you tasted human come? Actually, I’m not sure, have you?”

Karkat smirked, “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“I mean I would b-- oh, you’re not ever gonna tell me, are you?”

“I’ll tell you it wasn’t John’s.”

“Damn, disappointing. Anyway, human come tastes like garbage, man. Why are you complaining about this stuff?”

“We literally have completely different food cultures. Humans don’t even eat insects. You have no understanding of good cuisine. Also, your human material tastes great.”

“...” Dave knew this was a serious and vulnerable moment for Karkat. He knew that, but he was having a lot of trouble processing the whole experience of Karkat extolling the virtues of the flavour of ejaculate. “Well I guess this is just one of those,” he suppressed a snicker, “totally valid and radical cultural divides, huh?”

Karkat could sense the mirth. This wasn’t the first time he’d seen a human laugh over perfectly innocent remarks. “Yeah. So what do we do about it?”

“Uh, well, we humans have an amazing technology,” Dave reached over to his bedside, plucking a tissue out of a box. Delicately, he wiped his vulva off and deposited the waste paper in a relevant basket, “It’s called non-branded-facial-wiping paper. Duh.”

“That’s it? Simple as that?” Karkat looked nonplussed. “You’re not, offended?”

“I mean,” Dave shrugged, “I woulda been if you thought my pussy tasted gross but hey, you got some hang ups about your come? That’s totally normal, bro. Don’t we all have weird hang-ups about come?”

Karkat felt a tender red feeling in his chest, and placed a warm hand on Dave’s tummy. He rubbed it slowly, “...you’re so hot when you talk like that.”

“I know.” Dave grinned, then quickly put his glasses back on, “Now, if you don’t mind, Little Dave wants a kiss.”

With an amorous grin, Karkat lowered his face to Dave’s now-squeaky-clean folds and gave him a long, gentle lick. Dave, for his part, shuddered appropriately. There was something extremely stimulating about this boy’s tongue. He’d never figured it out. Maybe it was the inhuman shape of it, or how it seemed to curl ever-so-slightly around his labia.

Karkat did not stop there, of course. Within a moment he had his head wedged under that distended tummy, horns poking lightly into the bottom of it as his mouth embraced Dave’s sex. His head bobbed gently as he darted in and out, trying to get into a steady rhythm as he listened for the picking up of Dave’s breath.

Dave felt extremely receptive, moaning gently as he placed a hand on the back of Karkat’s head. He pushed in, slightly, more for the aesthetic of it than anything else. He knew Karkat’s technique was solid, but precise. He wouldn’t want to mess with it, especially as, finally, Karkat began to suck on his clit.

“Fuck, bro…” Dave was practically incoherent as Karkat’s lips embraced his button, making him break out in a sweat as he arched his back. He didn’t want to come yet. It was too soon! He had to hold out and show his stamina. Couldn’t let Karkat get him off that fast.

But then, with a sudden yelp, Dave was coming. He had the sweats, the shudders, and all the moaning and carrying on of an embarrassing, unflattering orgasm and he slumped back onto his pillows, “Bro, what did you do to me, bro?” Dave murmured.

Karkat smirked as he pulled away, laying beside dave and holding the boy close, “I mean, I couldn’t finish that early and then not make you do the same thing. I got my pride.”

“Fuck’s sake. You can’t use your teeth like that, bro. Teeth is bad. Teeth is bad technique.”

“It got you off.”

“I mean--okay. Fine. Fair but it’s still not, like, accepted practices.”

“Maybe for a human.” Karkat ran a finger around dave’s belly button, feeling the pride of a job well done, a pussy well eaten, “Do you want me to do it again next time?”

“...” Dave hesitated, but knew he had to be honest, “Yeah. Everytime.”


End file.
